the latest

it's only been a week and a bit, and already i feel like this trip has taught me. which is good, i did go on this adventure with learning as the goal, but i set out without really knowing what kind of learning was going to happen. was i going to learn about the places i visited? were people going to learn about me? was i going to learn how to live out of a backpack? where, when would i feel this learning start?

inevitably, learning means expanding, and expansion means change. no matter what my next step had been after graduation, it would have been a big one. but when you set out to completely blow yourself out of the water with new experiences, you are inviting yourself to change. and that in itself is a tad discomforting; who will i be at the end of this all? will i be the same person that me and mine know and care for? how will my view on life change? i'm not heading to the richest places known to man, and i've been warned time and time again that it won't be immediately uplifting. and the one way to swallow that is to accept that you cannot know the world in just seeing the good, and if i am to have a firm trust in man, then i must see both sides of the story. i have set out on all my crazy steps in life as of yet to push myself forward, no matter how steep the step ahead of me was, and each step has brought me closer to knowing the nature of people, and not all of those steps have been pleasant. at the end of the day, that is what is important, growing and learning and accepting and understanding and reflecting. and if that changes the person that i am into something radically different, then yes, i changed, but i changed for the better, for the informed, for the wiser. 

being on my own here has allowed for a lot of quiet time, quiet time that i didn't even know was missing before it set in. the past couple of months (who am i kidding, the past few years!) have been a rat race, and now at the finish, i am able to finally take a look back at how far i have come, and how much farther there is left to run. for now, though, no running. just strolling, floating through life instead of determining its path. at least for a little bit. 

the scenery here is... breathtaking. aside from the lack of oxygen. mountain living is not for everyone, but i know that it could be for me. being a short-term ski bum is wonderful! the chilled pace of life, the absolute lack of seriousness, the closeness to nature make for a different mind frame. no finance majors here! skiing down the mountain for days at a time, hiking into the backcountry, it allows for so much silent activity, letting my inner self a chance to be heard after all this rushing, partying, talking, studying, running. it's like i'm making friends with myself all over again. up in the high country, you look up, and you don't need to peek through buildings to catch a glimpse of the sun; here, the sky engulfs everything, everyone under it. oh my goodness, the colorado sky is so open you have no option but to reciprocate! the air is so clean, the water so fresh from the mountain that your body just thanks you automatically. my skin, hair, nails are all beaming from this dose of mountain life. no makeup, no tight clothing, no discomfort besides for the slight tightness of a ski boot (and that is remedied by the outdoor hot tub session under the snow at the end of the ski day). 

the people are on a different planet, one where long term careers do not exist, one where you live ski season by surf season, one where you move according to where they will let your canine friend live with you. i met a bunch of kids from st. louis last week and spent a good four days getting to know them, getting a little more familiar with my local roots that i am so used to discarding. good people. it's always fascinated me that no matter how conventional a person may seem, there is always a story to them. absolutely everybody has quirks, has history, has something that would be striking if it were their opening line to a stranger, giving us all reason to try and get past the first layer of anyone we encounter. never, ever judge a book neither by its cover, nor by its first handful of chapters, because somewhere in there, sometimes much deeper than others, there is a twist.

tomorrow, my solo time comes to an end for now, with sergio arriving for ten days. monday, i fly out to chicago for the big interview, to return (impressively enough) tuesday evening. it is now looking like jo will join me for the first ten days in south america, meeting me in buenos aires for a girly adventure (we'll see how girly i'm capable of getting- who knows, i may even wash my hair). 

laundry calls.